dealing with pain and dysfunction

Category Archive

The following is a list of all entries from the yay! category.

way to joy train*

Last night was my first night in my new apartment.  And tonight I remembered that vibrators exist!  Besides my lack of a sex drive and the fact that I was rarely by myself, I shared a door with two of my roommates last semester, and I could hear them breathing or twiddling their thumbs or fucking (mostly fucking).  And with those powers combined, it was the shittiest episode of captain planet ever made there was no vibrating fun to be had.  But that’s all gonna change, ’cause I’m unemployed, in a college town for the summer (aka ghost town), and living by myself.

*sign from botanical gardens in pondicherry, india

May is National Masturbation Month

And I think that makes it the perfect time to start, um, a relaxation experiment.  I can no longer afford to attend physical therapy, so I’m just going to continue with the stretching exercises I learned at the first session, dilator therapy, deep breathing, meditation… and masturbation.  ‘Cause what’s more relaxing that an orgasm, right?!

Another benefit:  the Implanon-related spotting seems to have slowed or stopped.  Yay!  Maybe vulvodynia isn’t so bad, I’ve spent a long time on this yesterday (come on, the dilators take forever, it’s not like this is *just* for fun) and it feels like I accomplished something.  I got off a few times and made it all the way up to the last dilator.  Nevermind that it’s study week and I haven’t really done much for classes.  What a productive day.

Just because I’m super excited about this, repeated for emphasis:

I made it up to the last dilator!!

I’m going to throw myself a party in public.  Okay, so this will probably amount to me getting some kind of treat and listening to happy music and skipping around a little bit, but I’ll call it a party.  No, I know… I’ll mentally co-opt a friend’s party this weekend and pretend like everyone’s there to celebrate meeee!!

New Toy!

Okay, I guess it’s not quite a toy, but my new PinkCup came today, all the way from the Czech Republic!  It’s soo tiny and adorable, the whole thing, stem included, is about the length of my ring finger (and I’ll probably be removing the stem, which makes up a good portion of the length).  It’s really squishy, but not as soft as I had thought it’d be judging from all the online reviews.  Plus it’s PINK.  Like a VAGINA.  Get it?  Ha.

Also it comes in a pink bag with white polka dots and a white ribbon drawstring.  This whole thing is so freakin cute.  But really, I’m not so frivolous that I’d spend money on a new cup just for the cute factor.  The Diva, which I got a couple years ago, is kind of the default American cup.  I got it because it was available at Whole Foods and easily accessible.  And even though it was totally life changing, and so so so much better than all the chemicals of awful, bleachy, dry tampons, it’s always been a little too long for me.  Plus, the silicone of the Diva is a lot more rigid and difficult to deal with.  But I’ve happily used it anyway, despite the slight pain with insertion and removal.  I mean, think of the environment and suck it up, I guess.  I’m trying to deal with my penchant for putting up with bullshit that I don’t have to, so I finally spent the money on getting a cup that will probably fit me better and be even more comfortable.

I won’t have to wait that long to use it, either, since the Implanon has me on a perma-period!  I mean… weird thing to be excited about, I guess, but I’ll probably only have to wait a day or two before I can try it out.  Plus I’d like to do a little bit of evangelizing to my housemates, and it’d probably be more effective to show them the cup before it’s been inside me.  Full review to come!

It’s all about control, and I’ve got lots of it!

I’ve had Implanon for just over a week now, and I am so in love with it already.
I had my insertion done at the Cornell student health clinic, and it went really well.  My gynecologist there (who I actually really like, for a gynecologist) talked me out of Mirena and into Implanon.  I hadn’t really considered it because of the Norplant recall in the 90’s, but she explained how Implanon is different, and what the benefits and drawbacks are.  I set up my insertion appointment, which was supposed to be around the second day of my period.  The procedure was a small office visit, and the whole thing took about 15-20 minutes (not including the insurance fiasco–since no one’s heard of Implanon they threatened to not cover it, and at $853, I’m really glad I managed to get that sorted out).

Implanon is inserted into your upper arm of your non-dominant hand, where your arm rests against your side.  If you make a fist, you can feel where the bicep and tricep meet–it’s just around there.  First, she marked off the spot where she would insert it, and another point that would be about the end of the device, so I could see where it would be on my arm and how long it is.  Then I got a whole bunch of lidocaine shots to numb the area.  Anyway, there was also a nurse there that was holding my hand and asking me about spring break, so I didn’t really see the procedure.  That’s probably all for the best, but I really was thinking “Oh no, how will I tell all the details to the internet if I’m not watching carefully?!”

Once my arm was entirely numb, she inserted the rod and then had me feel it with my right hand to make sure it was there and that I knew what it felt like.  Then I was all bandaged up–really, it seemed like overkill–with steri-strips, gauze pads, and some of that huge medical wrap stuff, and it was all secured with that masking-tape-like material.  I hardly go out to parties, but it figures that the one night I wanted to, I’d have to keep this massive bandage on for 24 hours.  After I removed it in the morning though, I just replaced it with a little bacitracin and a regular band-aid.  I was supposed to ice it three times within 24 hours, but I had the insertion done in the morning and then had class all day.  It really didn’t swell too badly at all, and there was only minimal discomfort at any point.  It also didn’t bruise at all.  That’s… incredibly unusual, as I’ve bruised like crazy from all my piercings, and my doctor said to expect some nasty bruises.  There are a few little red spots, I assume from all the lidocaine injections, but they’re fading quickly.  There was a little stinging at the insertion site later that night, but nothing worse than any other cut.  I should also point out that I’m unable to take OTC painkillers due to stomach pain, and I still made it through the whole thing without any serious pain.  Or any pain at all, now that I think about it.

It’s absolutely fabulous to not have to think about birth control.  Every night at 9:30 (the time I used to forget my pill) I get real smug and feel like I’ve outsmarted someone.  I mean, I obviously don’t have much of a pregancy risk, but I definitely use it as period control (Sarah Haskins is all over this thread).  I haven’t noticed any side effects yet.  I might try to blame my awful skin on Implanon so I have an excuse better than genetics, but really, I just have super terrible skin.  My arm is still a little bit tender, but I can feel the rod under my skin and that’s pretty cool.  Other people can feel it if they’re really careful–I think I’ve only yelped at one person so far.  But I have to reiterate the best part:  I don’t have to think about this for THREE YEARS!  That’s such a relief!  No more worrying about when the pharmacy is open or if I can cover my co-pay or if I left my pill pack in the pocket of the coat that I’m not wearing or maybe another purse or… Yeah.  What a relief.  Plus, my doctor said that the average Implanon user that she sees will have a period about every 6-8 weeks.  That’s awfully thrilling–more time to frolic and play and enjoy life between cramps (which might be a little bit better, too).


This has to be short because I’m supposed to be finishing a paper, packing, cleaning my fishtank, remembering to eat, completing financial aid paperwork… AGH!


Ahem.  Well, I have to go–I’m moving to NYC tomorrow!