dealing with pain and dysfunction

Doctors make me judge myself

I’ve been living in NYC for over six months now.  And not once have I gone back to see Dr. Ken Levey, the specialist that diagnosed me.  I called his office yesterday to see if I could set up an appointment before the holidays, and obviously he’s booked through January.  But I got to thinking about why I was nervous about going back.

It feels like I haven’t done enough.  Which sounds silly, if you know how much time and energy I devote to trying to figure this out.  But really, I wasn’t able to get to my physical therapy appointments, when I got my biofeedback machine it was prohibitively uncomfortable to use, when I got my dilators I didn’t really know how to do it properly and didn’t want to make things worse…  It just seems like I don’t really have the right to go back to this doctor if I haven’t followed every suggestion and done everything I’m supposed to.  Maybe I’ll get my shit together and buckle down and find the time to do physical therapy on my own, *then* I’ll go back in February or so.

And just because it’s my internet and I’ll cry if I want to:  I MET TED LEO LAST NIGHT.  Not particularly relevant here, but… I am so in love with Ted Leo it’s not even funny.  And I talked to him for a little while last night.  OMG swoooon.


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  1. * RH says:

    You really should go back to your doc and let him know you weren’t able to make the therapy but have instead got the biofeedback machine. He’s a great doc (he operated on me) and will be able to help you. It’s usually best to let doctors know whether or not you’ve been following their advice and / or treatment. And even if you are not, you should let them know so they can suggest alternatives. Also if you are not sure whether you’re using the machine right or not, you could bring that up with him too. I read your mom’s posting too – you really should ask the doctor about claiming it from your insurance co too. His office might have ideas. Good luck!

    Posted 9 years ago
  2. * utiherb says:

    better to use herb to cure any diseases than using chemical medicines. thanks for post and visit me :-)

    Posted 6 years, 2 months ago

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