dealing with pain and dysfunction

Time for a Bake Sale?

I got a call from my pelvic floor physical therapist today.  She submitted everything to the insurance company, so now I sit and wait.  I’m not very optimistic that they’ll cover a biofeedback machine though, and my PT ran through the costs with me just so I would know what I have to look forward to.

Unit (Pathway MR-10 single channel sEMG) —- $625

Lead Wire ——————————————— $56

Adapter ———————————————– $49

100 Electrodes (one per session) —————– $98

Vaginal Probe —————————————- $37

TOTAL ———————————————— $867 + tax

Now, I could forgo the lead wire and adapters and just use the probe, for a total of $713.  I’m afraid of doing that though, since I haven’t tried the probe before, and if it’s too big or uncomfortable, well… that’s just one more reason for me to hate doing therapy.  It’s already time consuming and awkward.

In any event, I don’t have $867 or $713 right now, since I’ll be living in Manhattan for two weeks before I get my first paycheck (at a whopping $8/hour at 30 hrs/week, I’ll really be livin it up).  Oh, dear.  There are so many people at this school that are here just for funsies because they have money.  Maybe one of them will give me a loan instead of buying another pair of sunglasses?  Yeah, probably not.  Who wants to buy some cookies?

The PT is calling me back tomorrow about a payment plan, which should hopefully make this all more doable.  I could even pay for maybe 1/3 of the total without freaking out too much about my near-empty bank account.

I really need to find a sex therapist that I get along with.  I finally sucked up my pride an got a psych eval, and unsurprisingly, I am clinically depressed and have generalized anxiety disorder.  I haven’t allowed myself to break down about it yet (but I guess that’s part of the same skill set that’s allowed me to hide the depression for so many years).  I’m curious as to how much of that depression can be traced back to these feelings of worthlessness that I get from not being able to have a full physical relationship.  Help?


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